I kissed her lips

I kissed her lips. They were soft and silky. They were wet, and hot. I kissed them and kissed them over and over and over again. I breathed her smell. It was intoxicating and filled my nostrils. I luxuriated in the musk of her odors. The aroma invigorated me and filled my passions for her. I tasted her pleasure and it was sweet in my mouth. I am in happiness.

My fantasies fade and all I smell is the scent of my own self. I find release and it is done.

Another year draws to a close. I feel somewhat content, at least in a very small part. I feel relief, I guess, mostly from my annual Christmas anxieties.

In some small way, I also feel like I've accepted my resolve to no longer delude myself in believing that I will have an intimate relationship beyond close friendship. I may fantasize and imagine sex with a woman. I just won't delude myself that something like that will happen, not with someone real, or known, or hoped for. I will not resign myself to this, but accept it as how it is. I need to be happy with the life I have and stop yearning for something that is not a part of it.

I have many blessings in my life, good friends, and good family. I have many worries now, and I can no longer avoid them. I know this, yet I'm still avoiding them. Yet, I feel somehow okay.

I would like to make another woman friend this coming year. Why? I'm not sure. I don't want to date. I don't want to raise any delusions, and perhaps it would be a test or trial. I would not think of her as a test subject. I know I would not do that. I would be a friend as I always have been. I don't want to neglect the friends that I have now, either. In fact, I want to keep them and further my friendship with them.

I am a virgin and that is how it is.

-A Nawty Mouz

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PDA Fritz

WTC!

This evening, like 5 minutes to midnight, I hear this chime much like the "new text message" chime on my cell. I check my cell and nada, and it's set to vibrate only ( ? ). Then, I hear it again. I check my cell again. Nothing.

So, I sit down at my desktop, and hear it again. I flip up the cover on my PDA that I just docked and it's asking me to calibrate the digitizer screen. WTC!

I picked it up out of the cradle and its completely going through its initial startup: Where am I? What day is it? What time is it? What time zone am I?

Okay, so now, all I have to do to get all my data loaded back on is to dock it and re-synchronize. Easy. Right? Except, the synchronization doesn't right work. I press the hot-sync button, and no joy. Undock, power off, redock, press button, no joy. (Repeat like 3 times.)

Reboot!

Dock, sync, joy! Yay! Long synchronization, because it's got to reload everything ... Then, mandatory reset. Check it. Oh joy! It looks okay. Sync again, just to be sure.

Fortunately, I had loaded (a very long) erotic story onto my PDA last night. So, I had a very recent backup of my PDA. Unlike the external harddrive that decided to totally flake out on me last week. You know, the drive with 130+ Gigs of porn that I've collected sporadically over the last several years. And, last week, I had thoughts of backing up. Sigh.

Oh, and this evening, coming home, I'm worrying about this odd whistle whine coming from the front of my motorcycle that is just audible above the wind. Sigh. And, as I'm driving down my street, a neighbor (I assume) gives a loud shout, "Hey!" It's dark and I can't see anybody as I'm driving down to my house. I found it a bit upsetting, especially when I am worrying about my bike. And, I have no idea why this guys yells, and don't know who, and I didn't stop to find out. So, it made me the slightest bit shocky, 'cause I'm tired and exhausted.

PS: * [WTC (tm) (tm-Nawty) is What The Cock or What The Cunt as you prefer. ]

-A Nawty Mouz

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